Today, I drove my girlfriend's VW stick shift car for the very first time all by myself... I therefore think this is an appropriate day to start this blog.
I've chosen the title "Shifting Gears" because it is where I am in my life... I just graduated with my PhD, I have moved from the West Coast to the East Coast, I am starting down a new, "non-traditional" career path and, yes, my girlfriend (j) is teaching me to drive stick shift.
Remarkably, with all the recent change, the thing that has been most difficult is that last one. Let me say this, j is a great teacher, but I hate driving. I have always hated driving. And as such, I've never been sad that I didn't own a vehicle. I lived in cities with busses.. Why drive when you can pay $2 and someone else will do it FOR you?
When planning my move to the East Coast, I was already aware that I was going to need to learn to drive stick. J's car (named Das Beav) is a manual transmission and my little 12 week position in DC is not going to pay me enough, nor provide the stability needed, to buy a car. J also lives in a very spread out location. If we need to buy anything, we pretty much need to hop in the car to go get it (although I admit to falling in love all over again with online shopping since I've arrived here).
I found myself thinking about, and dreading, learning to drive this car for weeks before and after the move... I had had one lesson in the middle school parking lot on a previous trip out East and knew that THIS was not going to convert me into a driving-loving person, in spite of copious amounts of encouragement from everyone around me, including j's parents. Everyone was telling me:
"Oh, once you get the hang of it, you'll just LOVE it!"
"That little VW is such a 'zippy' little thing! So fun to drive!"
"You'll have so much control of the car!"
"Driving stick gives you something to think about and keeps your mind active!"
Right, I said. YOU don't know about my recurring stress dream where I'm driving a car whose brakes don't work! Also... In all the years I have been driving, I have never once thought, "Gee, I wish I had something more to think about while controlling this death trap of metal hurtling down the highway..."
"Don't hit anything and don't let anyone hit you." seems important enough.
BUT, I told myself, "You are a good girlfriend. And you cannot expect that j will drive everywhere all the time from now until she grows old." I tried to find a reason to get out of it anyway. "Maybe I can strike a deal... In exchange for taking out the trash, j can still drive everywhere and that will be fair." within seconds my conscious was saying, "You would never take that deal if you were j. And what if j gets hurt and needs you to drive her to the hospital?" It was apparent there was no getting around it.
Two days ago, j took me for my second driving lesson in the high school parking lot. I drove in circles shifting from first to second gear and back down again for a half an hour. To be honest, the physical driving part was technically fine. I didn't stall out much, the gears didn't grind, the car moved in a forward direction... I didn't hit anything ;)... But still in my head, I was thinking, I HATE this. It was a long half hour followed by dinner with j's parents who still want me to love stick shift.
And then j did something that reminded me why I love her so... At the end of dinner, she borrowed her mother's Prius so that I wouldn't have to drive home from dropping her off at the Philly airport the next morning, alone... In Das Beav. Because of that, after making my way home from Philly, it was a glorious Friday full of errands! Today, however, I had to drop off the Prius at j's parents and pick up... Das Beav. I turned over the Prius dongle and took up the VW key.. This foldable widget of a key. I climbed into the driver seat and narrated to myself the starting up process "Clutch and brake in. Parking brake off. It's in first gear. Give some gas."
The drive was only 2 miles long... And yet I could feel myself hating Das Beav every inch of the way. Every time the engine revved and the little light on the dashboard let me know I needed to shift, all I could think was,"Fuck you, Beav, you needy bastard. If you know when I need to shift why can't you just do it yourself!?" and then I would grudgingly press the clutch and shift the gear... I am happy that Das Beav is sitting in the apartment's parking lot. I am not looking forward to the next errand I can't avoid. Case in point... I made tuna salad with plain yogurt tonight instead of driving to buy mayonnaise...
I suppose some people were right then... Driving stick shift does give you more to think about... But I'm pretty sure this isn't what they meant.
